The Top Five Missed Movie Opportunities

Ok so here's the deal. I'm whatcha might call a classic gamer. I love my old NES. I still remember buying my SNES with Christmas money and my Atari (Well.. it was a Gemini Atari Clone) has never left my side (Except when it broke and it took me years to find a new one). I have spent a lot of time yearning to see characters make their way from my TV onto the Big Screen, despite the terrible treatment they usually receive, but, like a Belmont in Transylvania I never lose hope.

So I would like to offer up the next few paragraphs of games I feel have waited MORE than long enough for their time on the silver screen.

5. Metroid

Hottie Sci Fi Bounty Hunter chick kickin ass on an alien planet against relentless intergalactic terrors. Yeah... no one would like that. Come on Hollywood, Milla Jovovich isn't there for nothing! She can't just make indy movies her whole life, while the Resident Evil franchise frantically writes a new sequel. Use her! That's what she's there for. She has a multipass to my heart...

4. Tetris

I don't know what it would be about, but I have the catch phrase

 “Tetris – Cause We All Just Wanna Fit In”

3. Castlevania

If only vampires and scary movies were fashionable right now. This movie may not feature effeminate vampires but the lovely locks of a whip wielding medieval hero would get the girls to show. Plus all the craziness of classic horror villains trying to stop Simon Belmont as he delivers the world from the evil Count Dracula, sacrificing everything, including himself AND colour in the final scenes.

2. Super Mario Bros

*plugs ears* LALALALAAAA I can't here you. Whats a Bob Hoskins? No there has never been a Super Mario Brothers movie. It's kinda like the Highlander movies, or an embarrassing night of mistaken bathroom issues: We all pretend number 2 never happened. Sure you'll need a talented screenwriter, but we all wanna see the humble brothers take on King Koopa! (Dennis Hopper need not apply)

1. The Legend of Zelda

Come on... like you thought it would be anything else. Evil Wizards, enslaved Princesses, foreign lands, exotic people, faeries, magic and of course one boy about to discover his destiny. The thick rich history of thr game and the amazing story telling make this series a natural. Between the now underground “Hero of Time” fan made movie and the Legend of Neil web series, I think the world over has made it's trumpet call clear. ZELDA!!!

So that's my quick list I wrote after watching the final episode of the Legend of Neil. Hollywood... help me help you. I WANT to give you my money, but you have to give me a way to give it to you...