Hey guys...

Some people have been asking if I would make some Merch, so I found a place that was pretty cheap so that it wasn't like 40 bucks for a shirt.

It's as low as 13.99 for a shirt and currently there are 3 designs. I think I make  like 2 bucks a shirt or something *lol* but whatever we make I will put back into the show, guaranteed :)

I'd love your feed back too. Let me know what you think of them. The store will eventually be housed here on the site, bit for now you can have a look by looking at the link below.

VISIT THE STORE

Happy Festivus! - The Airing of Grievances

Please remember these are done with all the love in the world... Happy Festivus everyone...

@DavidSpade - Get a Job. Seriously. You're funny and your movies (Joe Dirt Lost & Found and New Groove) were great.Be a star, ya jerk...

 
@Pawn_stars - I like your show, except for the fat guy
 
 
@mzvward - You are blond *snickers*
 
 
@ToonLines - very Creative... stealing other peoples work. No one has ever done that before
 
 
@OtisTWren - How bout you just March Along.. nothing to see here...

 
@Disney - Love your tweets... I have no grievances for you
 
 
@ciaraeileen - Nice ratings... almost double digits I hear

 
@DisneyPhotoPass - Very slick... 25 bucks a photo... reasonable...

 
@smbonneau - How do you travel so much! You must a thief of some sort...

 
@TonyFrangis - Tony Strappy Frangis. Hows that business you never did anything with!
 
 
@legendofneil - Hey cast of LOTN.. Thanks for the memories, now back to obscurity

 
@DeathStarPR - Maybe if you had been better at your PR job, tens of millions of people wouldn't have died

 
@yeseningles - Blah Blah, I get it.. boys are pretty
 
 
@XavanQ - NERD!!!!
 
 
@nerdsinbabeland - LIAR... your land doesn't exist. No airline knows of your existence and despite that.. there was STILL a plane switch in Atlanta
 
@SteveMartinToGo - Can you keep it to under 50 tweets a day? Kthanx

 
@RhapsodyGlass - Youre a pain in the glass
 
  
@morgan_murphy - I love your jokes when Carlos tells em
 
 
@FrankConniff - In this day and age, it should have been easy to find movies to make fun of... Thanks for giving up Big Rudy...
 

@sandeepparikh - Why do I follow you? LOTN is over and I watch the Guild for Amy


@amyokuda - I have no grievances. The disgust you have for me is normal... but be in more things!
 

@Discovery_News - I never knew the world had so few things I care about...
 

@jonathancoulton - Is it hard being a musician who doesnt play concerts?
 

@deliciafay - She can't be that hard to kill... her hair is like a flare gun
 
 
@ActuallyNPH - Why no Doogie reunion show... WTF?
 

@FanExpoCanada - Dont get me started.. 2 monkeys humping in a pillowcase could put on a better CON
 
  
@simonpegg - Can you and Gervais just fight already? I only have room for one guy from the UK
 

@DalaiLama - The glass isnt always half full you know...
 

@arnettwill - Cant wait for the AD movie due out last year... nicely done

 
@wttm - Thanks for making me realize I'm not in a Disney Park... EVERY WEEK!!!

 
@StephenAtHome - Thanks for making every Daily Show correspondent quit. I liked Rob!
 

@ConanOBrien - I get it.. women dont find you attractive. Good to know money isnt a chick magnet anymore
 

@feliciaday - Thanks for introducing us to Amy. Can you do the opposite for the movie Red?

 
@richardbranson - Far an ultra charitable guy.. you sure have a lotta stuff...
 
  
@DisneyPixar - Are we done with the toys? I had a speak n spell you havent used yet. Wait.. you did... nm
 

@MouseMagicHD - Stop with the questions!! Make your OWN content
 

@DisneyParks - Its been a few hours... another ticket price hike soon?
 

@MrTeller - For a mute you sure have a lot to say
 

@kevin_nealon - Call Victoria Jackson already. She's gotta be ready to come back....

 
@pennjillette - The one painted nail always freaks me out...


@AstrobiologyNAI - WTF are you talking about. Leet NASA Tweet... it hurts sometimes
 

@BrentSpiner - Whats with your Wheaton-esque hate on for Data?
 

@PolynesianMedic - When you tweet your location it seems like you need an ambulance.
 

@duhism - The world is weird.. duuuuhhhhhhh
 
  
@TED_TALKS - Thanks for reminding me what I COULD have done if I wasnt an idiot...
 
 
@wilw - Love the Hate/Love nerd thing...
 
 
@SavageKitty - Just about time for your annual tweet, right?
 

@WaltDisney_Says - When you dont have a view... quote someone else
 
 
@michaelianblack - Someday success will find you... in an alley with a dirty needle in your arm
 

@NASA - Can you just go to Mars already?

 
@TED_Tweets - Thanks for reminding me what I COULD have done if I wasnt an idiot...

 
@WaltDisneyWorld - You know what I really want for Christmas... My Club back!

 
@alyankovic - Why no love for Canada? We resisted killing you when Canadian Idiot came out...
 
 
@postsecret - I have a secret... I make money off of telling other peoples secrets... nope.. thats you...

 
@netalerts_sl - You are an automated service. You have no soul
 
  
@tweetsarnia - News you can use.. to leave Sarnia

 
@muppetcast - Whats a Muppet Steve? A character owned by Disney...
 

@RyatOnLine - How can you say game of the day when you update twice a month

 
@SethMacFarlane - Thanks for the Cleveland Show... Good to know you arent indestructible

 
@BryanRipper - Cant wait for the next AATM.... waiting...


@BlueJayHunter - But theyre gonna do well THIS year right?
 

@MarloLavonne - I'm sure you must have bad musical taste or something...

 
@Politzania - Who does a Disney cast from Indiana... or.. ANYTHING from Indiana?

 
@netcot - Wrestling and Disney. Do you have a rusted pickup truck and a Dale Earnhardt tattoo as well?
 
  
@aarondoubleu - Merry Nothingmas

Happy ToonsDay!!! (aka Letters To The Past)

Hi everyone.

I recently came across a group of letters that I wrote to cartoons when I was still eating Crunch Berries and Cocoa Pebbles (Both of which I bought yesterday in tribute). I feel that cartoons today have gone off the track so it is with love and affection that I post some of the letters. I hope you enjoy them...

===
Dear G.I. Joe,

I am writing in an attempt to get some clarification on issues raised in your program.
I am curious as to why it is wrong to do things like swim unsupervised or play with matches, but it seems to be completely acceptable to inflict violence without any discussion of the morale implications. It is possible, that these discussions occur off camera, however that doesn't help us to understand your blind hatred of a snake-worshipping people. I understand the religion of a snake handler may differ from your own religious convictions, but perhaps some diplomatic efforts could have been made.

                                                                                                            Sincerely, Shane


===

Dear Transformers,

I find it deeply troubling that you have chosen to bring your civil war to our planet. While I understand the frustrations of inequality (ie. Decepticons can fly and Autobots have been denied this station), I do not feel that dragging an unequipped and unequal people into the war is at all acceptable. Please consider other locations for your lines to be drawn as we do not appreciate the destruction of our people an "Unfortunate Side Effect."

Also, with regards to your vehicle forms, you are in violation of a great many patents and copyrighted designs. A class action suit is being prepared against you. This will be an expensive legal undertaking as it pertains to your defense, all the more reason to consider vacating our planet.

Thank-you for your consideration

Shane

===

Dear Smurfs,

While I understand that there is a language barrier between our two peoples, I do believe I can understand your language enough to get the gist of your complaints. These complaints, however, do not concern most of us and are chiefly aimed at the odd character Gargamel who has stumbled across a recipe to turn you into gold.

Perhaps if you could approach a governing body with an adequate interpreter you could plead your case and bring your nemesis to justice. Hiding has historically never been an adequate strategy, but diplomacy and justice can prevail.

Also, it has come to my attention that in a plot against your peoples, Gargamel created a female Smurf. This has a very negative message about females of our culture as it seems to imply that all women are created out of an evil plot to create disharmony and trouble in the lives of males. As I reflect upon this fact later in life, it's a life lesson I wish I had stumbled on to earlier.

Warm wishes,

Shane

===

Dear Snorks

You are different coloured aquatic smurfs who are poorly thought out in design. Why do you have tubes on the top of your heads? Presumably it is for breathing purposes, but as you never surface to breath, it seems a needless appendage.

I hope your homes were in the Gulf of Mexico and have either been drilled through or coated in thick oily sludge.

Smurf off and die.

Shane

===

Dear Thundercats

Why do you follow a self imposed leader who employs an annoying ratlike marsupial as a nursemaid? Did you forget that the only thing that has matured is his body? Tygra is clearly more qualified and with Panthro as his General, they could have a strong faction of Thundercats that did not rely on the soulless bear-robot Burbles for constant support against enemies.

We applaud your diplomacy but regret your leadership.

                                                                                                          Sincerely, Shane


===

Dear He-Man

Wow. You guys are well put together. I have a theory that Eternia is Latin for "Land of Steroids and Estrogen." It does raise questions about the power that you wield. It seems that "The Power Of Grayskull" is the power to melt away pink vests and get a sudden canned tan. Can you elaborate on this?

Two more quick questions. How is Skeletors head attached to his blue muscled frame, and can you get my digits to the sorceress.

Shane

===

Dear M.A.S.K

Congratulations! You are the winner of a complimentary completely NON-MAGNETIC Droid head warmer. As there are no magnets in the droid head warmer, it will cause no damage to your droid at all! Obviously if there were magnets, this could destroy the delicate electronics of your droid but we promise no magnets in this Droid Head Warmer. What could be safer! Please apply immediately to the head of your droid and sit back as your droid is not destroyed!

Sincerely,

                                                 Uncle Allan's Non-Magnetic Droid Head Warmer Company
                                                  (A Subsidiary of Magnetron labs)

===

Dear Punky Brewster

We're sorry that you started to develop and had to suddenly become a cartoon. We are also sorry that you accidentally acquired some sort of Irish Magic Casting Rat that followed you around like an orphan which must have made you jealous. YOU are the orphan, and your magic was the magic of love and laughter.

On the other hand, Glomer could do anything (except make Shaundoon come back). This must have been frustrating for you. Just know that you and Henry comprised our favourite non-interracial orphan family.

In short, the "Glomer Eradication Kit" consists of a pillowcase and a few bricks. Simply add Glomer to the kit, and add the kit to a nearby pond.

With much affection,

Shane

===

Dear Ewoks


You SUCK! But I like you more than Droids.


Shane

Wannabe

Staring at my screen
Need something to blog
Nothing coming to mind
'cept a Dancing Sheepdog

Look at him dance
His steps so well defined
Wait I'm distracted
Must clear my mind

A wannabe blogger
There's not many of those
Just one for each person
With fingers and toes

My world views are boring
My wisdom is trite
Sometimes I am funny
About once a fortnight

So I'll get ready for work
And fail once again
To post something cool
From my substandard brain

The Top Five Missed Movie Opportunities

Ok so here's the deal. I'm whatcha might call a classic gamer. I love my old NES. I still remember buying my SNES with Christmas money and my Atari (Well.. it was a Gemini Atari Clone) has never left my side (Except when it broke and it took me years to find a new one). I have spent a lot of time yearning to see characters make their way from my TV onto the Big Screen, despite the terrible treatment they usually receive, but, like a Belmont in Transylvania I never lose hope.

So I would like to offer up the next few paragraphs of games I feel have waited MORE than long enough for their time on the silver screen.

5. Metroid

Hottie Sci Fi Bounty Hunter chick kickin ass on an alien planet against relentless intergalactic terrors. Yeah... no one would like that. Come on Hollywood, Milla Jovovich isn't there for nothing! She can't just make indy movies her whole life, while the Resident Evil franchise frantically writes a new sequel. Use her! That's what she's there for. She has a multipass to my heart...

4. Tetris

I don't know what it would be about, but I have the catch phrase

 “Tetris – Cause We All Just Wanna Fit In”

3. Castlevania

If only vampires and scary movies were fashionable right now. This movie may not feature effeminate vampires but the lovely locks of a whip wielding medieval hero would get the girls to show. Plus all the craziness of classic horror villains trying to stop Simon Belmont as he delivers the world from the evil Count Dracula, sacrificing everything, including himself AND colour in the final scenes.

2. Super Mario Bros

*plugs ears* LALALALAAAA I can't here you. Whats a Bob Hoskins? No there has never been a Super Mario Brothers movie. It's kinda like the Highlander movies, or an embarrassing night of mistaken bathroom issues: We all pretend number 2 never happened. Sure you'll need a talented screenwriter, but we all wanna see the humble brothers take on King Koopa! (Dennis Hopper need not apply)

1. The Legend of Zelda

Come on... like you thought it would be anything else. Evil Wizards, enslaved Princesses, foreign lands, exotic people, faeries, magic and of course one boy about to discover his destiny. The thick rich history of thr game and the amazing story telling make this series a natural. Between the now underground “Hero of Time” fan made movie and the Legend of Neil web series, I think the world over has made it's trumpet call clear. ZELDA!!!

So that's my quick list I wrote after watching the final episode of the Legend of Neil. Hollywood... help me help you. I WANT to give you my money, but you have to give me a way to give it to you...

Trust - Who Do Ya?

Trust... What makes you a good lover
TRUST... I out this question to ya cause I wa...

Oh hai! Didn't see you there. That song always goes off in my head when I think about Prince, Batman, Jack Nicholson or the subject of trust. (Its also on my make out mix tape)

If you read my previous entry you know there were some issues in my life that called into question how much I could trust my friends. I became aware that upon my return from vacation (aside from my Newfound love of cocktails and piano music) that I would have very few friends left should I cut out those I felt I couldn't talk to. After weighing some issues against my feelings I have come to a conclusion.

Let me make a blanket statement to them...

I know what you did. Yes you. If you think this may pertain to you it probably does. I know what you said, what you did and when it went down. I knew long before you think I knew, and I have forgiven you.

By forgive I mean... I forgive you the way the world forgave Germany. We can hang out, we can chat and laugh and I'll have a beer with you... But I'm not going to give you any ammunition.

Also there have been casualties along the way. All wars do and that's fine. I still hold the moral high road (but you'll get to Scotland before me), and I created a new life rule... "If you are over 25 and still live with your parents, we can't be friends."

Does that seem harsh? I don't think it is. Experience has taught me that this ever increasing genre of people and their basement dwelling lifestyles, leads to a sense of entitlement and lack of understanding the world. The world owes you nothing. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do (Ask Angelina Jolie about this) to get where you want to be. Sometimes decisions have to be made and sometimes everything isn't all about YOU.

Ok... Back to work for me...

Be Well friends...